Monday, March 16, 2009

Technological Knockout

Originally published October, 2008

As some of my loyal readers (if any) may have noticed that I had not published articles in the last two issues of the Dickinsonian. The reason for this is not laziness. Well it kind of is. Some time during the weekend before last I attempted to turn on my laptop and nothing happened. My computer sat there lifeless as I repeatedly pressed the power button. Feelings of panic began to enter my mind as I started to hyperventilate. I picked up my cell phone and dialed tech support as fast as I could. After listening to crappy “hold” techno music I spoke to a woman with a thick Indian accent. She revealed that I would need to send my computer to be repaired, but my computer was out of warranty. Fortunately, it wouldn’t too expensive. As my Indian telephone operator began to transfer me to the repair department from half way around the world, something horrible happened. My cell phone completely crashed. I say the word “crashed” because “died” has the connotation of the phone simply running out of power. My phone was completely unable to function. It turned off and refused to turn on or charge. After punching several holes in my wall I curled up in the fetal position on my bed while muttering to myself “This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.”

After some quick e-mailing I was able to get my mom to make the necessary phone calls to get my computer fixed. By the end of the day, a box was on its way for shipping my computer to the repair shop. With that taken care of I was able to steady myself enough to contact Dan Officer to drive me to the Verizon store. I mention Dan by name because he saved me. I cannot live for more than 72 hours without a cell phone or computer in my possession.

Now that my survival was assured I had to deal with the reality of not having a computer. The internet is something I need to keep my sanity. As long as I can remember my mind has always come up with questions that need to be answered. The internet allows me look up the answers to what things are and such. I like to say that I do this because I’m a smart person, it’s mostly that I’m very curious. If I hear something I don’t know about I look it up on the internet, no matter how useless the information could be. I recently heard the word “necrosis” and I had to look it up on Wikipedia. Apparently necrosis is a kind of cell death where cells are not recycled by the body. I doubt I’ll ever need to know this, but I feel satisfied that I know it. Without a computer I was forced to work in the library, some people prefer this to working in their room. Personally, I cannot stand it. There are too many unexpected distractions. I will get completely distracted if I think someone is typing too loudly. I like my room where the distractions are more along the lines of procrastination. If something is going to keep me from my work, it’ll at least be enjoyable. I like having my music and my normal internet sites to distract me. Lastly, I enjoy working on the computer in my underwear; this is not possible in the library. It is actually the only way I can write my column. You may think that’s weird, I prefer to think it’s eccentric.

After 9 horrible days of having to walk outside to go check my e-mails, my repaired computer arrived in the mail. I felt so happy to get things on an even keel again. I could write in my underwear to my heart’s content. This experience made me realize how important my computer is to me. It is my tool for expressing myself and my link to the answers for my mind’s incessant questions. It kind of sucks that a grey box is so important to me, but it could be worse. I could not have a computer at all and never have ended up writing. The only possible path for me aside from writing is heroin addiction.

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